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so sleep alone tonight
im not putting my name so i can escape from ******* :Dxiao fan shu. 1990. pl sis mg hc. puddle and paddle. sports. food? RELIEF TEACHER hahaaha |
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about this blog
This blog is finally revived! Hopefully (:
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cant believe i blogged again at 23
omgsh! this works! cant believe it. thought it was a dead log. i turn 23 today! i had a really sweet day with Chen Wei, who gave me a really pretty watch. and who waited till 12am to wish me one last time before he went home. thanks dear :) YOU ROCK! birthdays are bittersweet. because they change alll the time! its really like a culmination of whos important in your life right now, and who used to be, but have fallen out. i guess thats why ting says she feels emo every birthday. i used to have really exciting celebrations with groups, but now, with everyone working, and with some animosity here and there haha,and with some distancing of groups, birthdays have become less partyish and not so fun anymore. i guess all i can do is to laugh and tell myself to grow up, and, try to recreate those wonderful gatherings as much as i can. WHEE! im a happy girl tonight. :) helo! badday
sucks. stupid beer camera tears system. country and myself so many issues sleepitallaway happy and sad sigh
boooohoo. what a long and dreary day today. but id like to thank those who came to talk to me, smiled at me, disturbed me, left me messages:) at least they 'interrupt' my boredom and loneliness for a while. so many people emoing in school and on blogs, well:( do look to better days! living muz be 'che mi' (fun in hanguel):D must heng book kai kare:D HAHAahhahaa. i need to find nice times to reply to grace, vane and shelson. i do have lots of things to tell them. but not today. its not that i put it off. but there wont be quality if my brain is so brain dead. im gonna watch my korean show to rejuvenate it.only over 1 week of school left! haha noah's snail. i like:) peace
Life is really full of uncertainty, excitement, regrets, what ifs, love, honour.........you simply cant tell where it takes you. today, i count my blessings again. :) -- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s -- Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Assignments are good for me.
Getting where I am today has not been easy at all. So many sacrifices that I had to make, so many things i had to miss and give up. which could be so painful. so difficult. many times I wonder what I am doing this for, why do i have to pursue what I am doing? so many times I struggle and struggle to keep up, struggle to hold on. Then while I boggle myself with self-pity and confusion, and feel my grip starting to weaken, my parents and family's support jolts me up and gives me the strength to carry on.I think back at how they selflessly and silently tolerate my wrongs, give me encouragement and take care of my needs throughout my years. every single time. Their pride of me shines clearly on their faces, their everlasting love and support make me break into smiles when i want to cry. In the midst of it all. They are truly the pillar of my support. The roots which I hold on dearly to. I think I am one really blessed girl in this big fat world. Thank you so much for without you, I will not be who I am today. About Laughter
hiiiii! I laughed out so loud today. family and i were on our way back from hougang (to make my contact lenses!) and we dropped by 717 to buy durian puffs and pudding. When i saw my mum paying for the durian pudding there were already thoughts conceived in my mind that the pudding was gonna suck.Back in the car, we consumed all the durian puffs in no less than 10 minutes and moved on to the pudding. Sure enough, the moment that egg-y flimsy milk-like thing touched my tongue, i yelped a great "YUCKS!". then went off into rolls of hysterical laughter. I also forced daryl to try it. His reaction: hurry pass me the tea to wash this off. Needless to say, poor papi the dustbin of the family had to finish up the whole cup of pudding. But everyone was laughing while eating, because it was just so bad. and funny. It just got me thinking how long ago i really laughed so hard. or we, or even people for that matter. A few days ago, I was on the bus and i was watching this family with two children, a small girl and boy. The small girl started bursting into cackles of uncontrollable laughter for about three minutes at something her grandpa did. She was just SO tickled that she couldnt stop laughing. It was a joy to watch her - another woman who was watching the little girl was secretly smiling to herself, so was I. On thursday, jiahao chenwei and I were trying to study at the level 2 couches in school. The topic about "headnotes" started and at the end of the discussion, it surfaced that I had made a very grave stupid mistake all the time while reading cases- which was totally embarrassing and bimbotic. But oh, it gave us such a good laugh that I was close to tears. (: Ha-Ha. When I was young, I was such a damn good laugh-er. I remember easily going into balls of hyena laughter and rolling on the floor kicking my legs. thinking back, the feeling was just so good! In lower sec, what really bonded me to jessie and grace were also our playful personalities and all the lovely laughing movements. I have no idea what we laughed about but it was so awesome. Since then, the pressures and stress of life, and perhaps due to some odd mindset on my part that being so serious, isolated, and focused was the only way to a successful life slowly diluted this really important part of my life and it virtually faded away. Its probably a factor why I cant really remember much of my more recent past, or maybe I dont even want to remember it at all. I'm really glad that I managed to identified this though. I never consciously realized that such a huge fantastic thing was missing from my life for a while. Genuine Innocent Laughter like that kid is probably one of the best ways to real living. =) darn, a call just disrupted my thoughts on how to conclude this post. i think i got out most of what i wanted to pen down though. Enjoy your good laughing moments!=) |